Wanting To Do It All / Acceptance

WARNING: I'm writing this blog post about how I'm currently feeling. It may not make sense. There will be grammatical issues. I'm just getting it out.

I have always been an overachiever. I always do my very best and am so critical about myself. Since I've become a mother, I've tried hard to accept the fact that I am not perfect. Not only as a mother but as a person. This concept has been hard for me! I know others can relate to me but maybe some people laugh at that. I don't like being lazy even though I find myself being very lazy. And my vision of laziness actually may not be lazy at all. There are many days that are hard for me to wake up before 7am to go to the gym, then to come home and shower and tackle the dishes, laundry, and all the messes that happen in the house. Really, didn't I just spend the entire day before cleaning the kitchen?! Now it looks like a bomb went off and dishes and garbage everywhere! Situations like that, as I'm a stay at home mom, make me feel like I'm horrible at my job(s) here and find everything that's wrong with me.

I am working to accept the following:

If I can get to the gym at least once a week, that's good. I have a higher goal of going for health reasons and because it makes me feel good. But, things come up.

I can't cook every meal that is Whole30 approved, organic, or even anything at all. As long as everyone eats, that's a success.

I can't spend my whole life at home cleaning.

It's okay to cancel plans, things come up.

I need to slow down and enjoy this time I have to be home with my son and work on my creative handmade business.

Stop thinking about life before moving, baby, 30...it's the past.

It's funny how just thinking about it and writing it out can make me feel a little better. If I'm constantly in my head (the baby doesn't have a conversation with me anyway) I get very negative about myself, my life, etc.